June 24, 2005
It’s almost been a year. It’s just two days shy. In the realm of a year though, two days here or there doesn’t matter a hill of beans. That is at least, what I suppose.
Last year at this time, I was feeling somewhat blue and wondering to myself just where the school year had gone. Cassandra was going into 5th grade and Rebecca into 1st. The days on the calendar had flown by. Well, this past week, we attended Cassandra’s 5th grade graduation, and we’re on the verge of Rebecca being able to say that she’s going into 2nd grade.
In the fall, Cassandra starts Middle School. She announced that it would only be 3 years and she’d be headed to High School. I felt one of those slow-motion moments coming on. I turned to her and said “Noooooooooo”. She laughed and so did Erik and Rebecca. In the end, so did I. C’mon now, I thought to myself, can’t we just get through Middle School without you delving into High School!!
There are days that I want to slow life down to a manageable speed; one where my head doesn’t feel like it might spin off at any given moment. I find myself longing for those “simpler times” that my own Mom and Papa used to talk about. Ah yes…quiet afternoons on a porch swing, Sunday drives down a country road – the kind that were relaxing, and band concerts in the park. The truth is that if there ever were such days, they’re not the ones that we’re in today. Try as we might to have those quiet small town days, it’s a near impossibility. Erik’s work takes him into the heart of Manhattan five days out of seven. Leaving for the train station before 6 in the morning, I drop him off for the morning commute. It’s usually past 8 in the evening when I pick him up again.
That’s not to say that my growing up was any different. My Papa worked long hard hours just as Erik does. Most mornings it was dark when he left for work and dark when he returned home again. So, it isn’t in the hours away from home that a simple time is lost or found.
I have to look back at all that my Mom and Papa seemed to accomplish with the time that they were given each week. They both worked full-time jobs and in the evenings after dinner they would do chores around the house. It seemed that there was always some project that Papa was working on whether it was taking apart three lawnmowers to make one good one or re-calking a window. Time was a precious commodity and it was treated as such. Mom divided her time doing yard work and keeping the house in order. They had, between them, a well-oiled machine. The weekends weren’t quiet either. There was always something planned. Both Mom and Papa loved “to go”. There were camping shows and home shows and time spent with friends.
As soon as it was warm enough in the spring Papa would have our little travel trailer ready and off we’d go. Most times there were still traces of snow on the ground and we’d be ahead of the regular season. We’d meet up with other people from the area; people that Mom and Papa had known for most of their lives and there we would spend a couple of quiet days that were ours alone. No jobs to steal hours away from home, no one demanding more than your company around a campfire.
We would camp almost every weekend in the summer right through until the last weekends in October. Most of the campsites would close up by then. During the winter months there were places to go too. We never missed Octoberfest in Kitchener-Waterloo. November brought Christmas shopping and a trip to Toronto for the Royal Winter Fair. Mom and Papa knew how to use their time so that it meant something. That much is evident by the memories that I hold in my heart.
We have the opportunity, each of us, to take what we’re given and find our own “simple times”. Erik and I strive for that in our lives; that same gift of using our time not only to get the most out of it, but to put the most into it and still have the balance of a simpler time.
I look at these two girls, Erik’s girls, and I’m so thankful to be a part of their lives. That in itself is a balance of its own. As many of you know, this is a second relationship for both Erik and me. The girls’ time is divided between their Mom’s home and our home. Despite the added complication it is foremost in our hearts to make the girls’ lives as close to simple and small town as we possibly can.
I have to believe that Mom and Papa had it right. It’s not necessarily in the slow pace or in the amount of time you have. It’s in the planning of the time you have to be sure, but mostly it’s in your heart. My Papa had the gentlest spirit and he could take five minutes with you and make you feel that he’d given you an entire afternoon. Is that the secret Papa?? Is that what you tried to teach me all those years ago??
It’s funny how things come full circle. I remember being in such a hurry to fly through school. I remember going to Elgin Ave Public School (my middle school) and not being able to wait until High School. Suddenly High School was over and life was in full swing. Now here I am today, smiling at the thought of an 11 year old girl with High School thoughts of her own.
The days go by whether we like them to or not. It’s what we do with the days. It’s always been what we do with the days. Oh yes, men and women will always wish for the “simpler times” or the “good old days”. They always have. Perhaps it’s a way of telling ourselves to enjoy the moments before all the years are gone.
Thanks Papa.
To say that I’ve become a coffee person since moving to New York is an understatement. Now I’ve not given up my tea roots (er, I mean tea leaves!!). For those of you that I’ve just broken this news to, I still love a steaming cup of Earl Grey or a soothing Ginger Peach. It’s just that there are times that call for coffee.
When we first moved to the area, we received a welcome packet from the surrounding merchants. One of the welcome gifts was a coupon for a free pound of coffee from a little place called “The Black Cow”. Now neither of us had heard of it, but with a name like The Black Cow who wouldn’t be intrigued to check it out. It was a pound of coffee that was to begin a love affair. It should be stated here and now that I’ve never been a coffee snob or even “coffee fussy” but one trip to The Black Cow ruined me for life.
Situated in a little bedroom community along the Hudson, and then tucked into a tiny shop that you could miss completely if it weren’t for the giant letters spelling out “BLACK COW”. It’s the place that magic is created in paper cups.
The Black Cow is an interesting place to visit. It’s reminiscent of a 60’s coffee house but geared to an upscale market of today. Coffee is the main business, but it goes beyond that. On Friday and Saturday nights live music with local and not so local artists draw in the regulars. Sunday afternoon the volunteer knitters gather and knit items for needy people.
There aren’t two tables alike and the chairs resemble yard sale leftovers. Paintings and photographs from local artisans hang on the walls surrounded by, what else, cows. If you’re lucky you get to see the beans roasting. This is always a popular time with the children.
Their open for the early commuters headed for the city. Later in the morning Moms take their little ones there; a sweet break for them and a sweet treat for the children. One little girl that I know (her name is Eva) goes with her Daddy and has warm milk whipped frothy and creamy. In the afternoon students stop by on their way home from school. In many ways The Black Cow is a modern day general store. It’s a gathering place if you will. There is no biscuit barrel to “set upon”, but if you pull up one of those chairs you can catch up on the day’s events.
Erik and I love to take the girls there for coffee. Cassandra and I usually have iced coffee. We race to see who is finished first!! She’s taken to pouring a packet of raw sugar into her iced coffee so that it settles on the bottom. Being cold, it never mixes in. Rebecca on the other hand loves a serious cup of Joe. (Little does she know that she drinks more milk than decaf coffee, so shh…don’t tell her!!)
We have two roasts that are favorites with both of us.
“Black Cow Blend” is (and I quote) “100% Kenya AA. 75% Full city roasted 25% French roasted. Really, really popular. Nice full body with the subtle French after taste.”
“Uganda” is (again I quote) “This is another great coffee from that fantastic eastern part of Africa. As with Kenya, Zimbabwe, Zambia Uganda holds it own with all of them. Sweet, full body with a nice acidity that balances perfectly.”
Now who couldn’t love that??
Erik, I have decided, is psychic in that he always knows when I’ve been to The Black Cow. It doesn’t matter if he’s in the city or at home, he knows. I’m checking my handbag for a little device that alerts him to my movements!!
Now before I close out this coffee banter completely, Erik and I have been posing over something. Out for dinner last night (it was Friday and Friday is date night for us) we had scrumptious fare at a local Italian restaurant. To describe the meal would be like starting off on another story, so I’ll save that for another time. With dessert I had coffee. Erik had a double espresso. With a double espresso, you’re served lemon rind on the side. Thus we have our dilemma. Just why IS that lemon rind there. We talked it over, and we still can’t decide. Now the more searching I do, the stranger the explanation. From sniffing it to chewing it and stories of WWII soldiers coming up with the idea, I’m a little baffled. I guess in the end we’ll just take it as gentile mark of a “good” restaurant and leave it at that.
All this talk of coffee has made me thirsty.
We had a wonderful visit with Nanny and Poppy while they were here visiting. Despite the fact that we’re in contact via the internet and the telephone almost everyday, being able to give them a good old fashioned hug is more than a treat!!
The girls had so much fun with Nanny and Poppy. Rebecca and Poppy compared their “push-up skills” and Poppy amazed both girls by turning a cloth napkin into a “living” bunny. Come to think of it, the waiter at the Chinese restaurant was impressed too!!
I think the highlight of the visit was when Rebecca announced that Nanny “sure doesn’t look her age”. In fact, Rebecca told me that Nanny looked like she was “oh, maybe in her 20’s”. With that, she also announced that Nanny was “the Queen”.
Poppy had better toe the line now…he lives with the Queen.
I found a wonderful old book the other day. I like to frequent places that sell used books. Libraries are wonderful for this, and resale shops are fun places to find treasures. Having nearly given up for the day and deciding that I was tired of looking at the same old titles I was ready to head for home. Being a Gladys Taber person, seeing a book published by “Lippincott” is like a beacon in the darkness. Just as I turned away, I caught the word “Lippincott” on the bottom of the spine. My hand moved to the shelf and then I saw the title -- “Dogs and People” by George and Helen Papashvily. It’s a first edition copy with a fair to middlin’ dust jacket. Written in 1954 it is “The whole story of why men and dogs are the best of friends". I couldn’t help but share with my friend Melissa from Long Island that I am certain that Gladys Taber MUST have read this book!!
What a delicious find.
From old books and old memories to new friends and new memories I find myself at the beginning of another summer in the Hudson Valley. That’s not a bad place to be in any number of ways. Perhaps I’ll put on a pot of coffee and start reading my new book. Hmm, good idea.
Love from Butternut Grove,
Shelley
The Simple Pleasures
Iced Coffee and Steaming Hot Tea
Old Books
Camping in the Snow
High School in Three Years
Knowing The Queen!!
Summer in the Hudson Valley
Espresso with Lemon??
Papa and Lawnmowers
Mom by a Campfire
Kissing Erik at the Station
High School in Three Years??
Noooooooo!!
Oy vey…I need a coffee!!
August days hang heavy like wet laundry and no wind in the offing. Fresh crisp spring is far behind and the cool brisk fall seems as if it will never come.
These are days that even a cat must take measures to conserve energy and stay as cool as possible. Scooter curls up on the sofa and seemingly drinks in the cool breeze from the air conditioner. He’s found that a tile floor can be a lovely respite from the heat.
When it’s very warm, I like to soak a bath towel in cool water, wring it out and then rub Scooter down with it. This serves both the purpose of cooling him and giving his coat a little bit of a cleaning. He fusses somewhat while this is being done but in the end he almost seems grateful. Brushing alone helps get rid of the loose hairs, but the towel bath does an even better job, leaving his coat soft and silky.
This kind of heat and humidity is tremendously hard on the wildlife in the area. In a suburban community where the wild things coexist with humans there will always be those instances where the two “collide”. It’s not unusual on the morning and evening trips to the train station to have deer crossing the road and it’s always wise to keep an eye tuned in anticipation of this. Last week as I turned the corner onto our street I caught a glimpse of a young doe standing completely still on the curb. I came to a stop and just watched as she started to walk cautiously and then bolt like a shooting bullet. What a glorious site.
I was saddened one morning as I was headed to work and it was all because of a raccoon. Growing up in a small town and exposed to country settings most of my life I have a picture in my mind of the way things “should be”. Raccoons in my mind should live in the woods and at the very most, annoy campers by trying to raid their picnic coolers by the light of a full moon.
Driving early one morning, I spied a young raccoon heading back home after a long night of finding food here and there. Now in the suburbs, there are a number of places that a raccoon can find a good meal. It seems that it’s always “open season” on trash cans. Bird feeders are yummy stopovers for those on a healthier diet. Lassie’s food is well, fair game. If you happen to have a corner store with a dumpster, it’s a virtual buffet to the little masked bandit.
Normally “home” for a raccoon is a hollowed log, a stump or a high branch up in a tree. In treeless, marshy areas it’s not uncommon for a coon to make a den in the high grasses. Suburban raccoons have seemingly adapted to survive. Having gorged himself all night he waddled down the road and finally slipped out of sight – right down the drainage grate. Now I have to tell you that my heart sank and I thought about what I’d seen all through the day. When I saw Erik next, he asked me if something were wrong. I said that there was. I looked at him with tears welling and said, “Raccoons shouldn’t live down under the drainage grates.” I’m certain that I confused him with that statement. The mere fact that he didn’t answer right away was testament to that. Later that night I explained that perhaps I was just longing for some open spaces. I couldn’t help but realize however what a poignant reminder it is that we’re not on this earth alone. We share it with all of G-d’s creatures. It’s a delicate balance that most often finds man on the “taking” end. G-d made us stewards of this earth and there are times that we treat it as if it’s a never ending well.
That one little raccoon had my mind going in all directions that day. There he was – one little creature – living under a drainage grate. Don’t get me wrong; I know in my heart that I can’t “reform” him and teach him to live in the woods like his country cousins. It did get me thinking once more about the fact how one person can make a difference. I can’t change the world, but I can have an impact on my little corner of it.
Having read Gladys Taber for many years, it occurs to me that she very much felt the same way. She theorized that if each person could have their own little piece of land to farm and their own hearth to sit by that the world would be a better place. What wise words. When we each take responsibility; when we each see the impact we can and do make, only then do things begin to change.
Cassandra and Rebecca are going to be responsible individuals when it comes to things of the environment when they’re grown women. (Oh gosh, did I say their names in the same sentence as “grown women”??) They’re keenly aware of the importance of recycling and purchasing items that are packaged in a way so as not to produce unnecessary waste. It’s a refreshing thing to see in children today. There is of course some growing yet to do. The wayward candy wrappers that don’t quite make it to the trash bin are evidence of this. Time, patience and gentle nudging will take care of such ecological “slips”.
I found the following at The New York State Department of Environmental Conservation website. I think its great advice (the state would be happy to hear this I’m certain) and I wanted to share it with all of you. I think I’ll make a copy for the girls to put on their bulletin board.
Helping Your Environment
At Home
In the kitchen:
•
Set the refrigerator between 38ºF and 42ºF (3.3ºC and 5.6ºC)
•Set the freezer between 0ºF and 5ºF (¬17.8ºC and ¬15ºC)
•Microwave whenever you can (instead of using the oven)
•Don't leave the water running while washing dishes
In the dining room:
•Use cloth napkins
•Use washable plates, cups, and silverware
•Serve condiments from recyclable containers
In the laundry:
•Wash and dry only full loads
•Use warm water (not hot!) when washing clothes
•Rinse clothes with cold water (not warm!)
•Hang clothes out to dry
In the bathroom:
•Shut off faucet while brushing your teeth
•Shut off shower while soaping, scrubbing, or shaving
•Install a low-flow shower head and toilet
•Reduce the volume of water in your toilet tank
In the living room:
•Switch off unnecessary lights
•Dress warm: don't turn up the furnace
•Dress cool: don't turn on the air conditioning
•Raise shades on winter days; lower them in the summer
To read more visit the site at:
http://www.dec.state.ny.us/index.html
I only wish they’d mentioned something about candy wrappers that don’t make it to the trash bin.
Love from Butternut Grove,
Shelley
Apples luscious and sweet and cooler days tell me that autumn is just ‘round the bend. It’s welcome relief from the hot summer sun. Rebecca has a phrase when it gets too hot. “I’m steaming!!” she’ll say. Steamy was August in a nutshell. There were some days that the air seemed to hang over the valley and looking for a cool cozy nook was the only order of the day.
Vacation this year was spent in Ontario visiting my Aunt and Uncle and cousins. The drive from our home to the farm takes almost 11 hours counting the stops. Our car was packed to the brim with clothes and coloring books and crayons and of course Lissy had her own high chair and special place to ride. Lissy has a sleeping bag for this trip too!! I’m curious to know how much more the car weighed fully loaded.
Driving “home” for me is a trip filled with memories. Crossing the Niagara River and seeing familiar places is at once sweet with a wee tinge of sad mingled in. I remember as a girl camping in the Niagara region and visiting so many of the landmarks.
It doesn’t seem possible that so much time has passed and now here I am with Erik and his girls doing some of the same things that I did with my own Mom and Papa. Life’s a circle.
One fun thing about “crossing the river” into Canada (this is a local expression for border crossing in the Niagara area) is the almost instant appearance of “Tim Hortons Donut Shops” Now, if you’ve never had coffee and donuts from Timmy’s then you’ve not had coffee and donuts. If you’ve never heard of Timmy’s, then it’s almost assured that you’ve never been to Canada!!
Tim Horton was a household name when I was growing up. Canadian born Horton was a professional hockey player from 1949 until his untimely death in 1974. In the sixties he realized that he should diversify and invest some of his earnings. He opened a lone coffee and donut shop in Hamilton, Ontario. From those humble beginnings came a franchise that is today a booming success.
Where was I?? Ah yes, what I wanted to say was Erik and I and the girls are hooked on Tim Horton’s and Rebecca reveled in spotting the familiar red and white sign and blasting out, “TIMMY!!!!”
Our trip was filled with moments that I will treasure for a lifetime. Hearing the girls laugh in the back of the car is a memory that I will hold especially dear. I see them growing up so fast that I can finally understand why my Mom would say that the days “fly faster than I care to think about”.
Arriving late in the evening at my Aunt and Uncle’s home in the country we were greeted by one of the most revered members of my family. Benson (more commonly called Benny) is a sweet boy with a sweeter smile. He’s head and shoulders below Rebecca and covered with fur!! Benny is my Aunt and Uncle’s dog and he is a gem. Benny was an instant hit with the girls and by the end of the week Rebecca was certain that there wasn’t a better dog in the whole world. There probably isn’t.
Northern Ontario in the summer can be a welcome relief from “steamy” days and this year was no exception. My Aunt and Uncle own a beautiful home in “north country” that’s situated on a lake and surrounded by trees. Days that call for a sweater and evenings with a refreshing air are welcomed.
We took the girls swimming in the crystal lake although when Rebecca’s leg hit seaweed the screams could be heard for miles. Little girls can reach notes that have yet to be recorded. We went swimming with “noodles” and the girls even managed to coach Daddy in for a good long swim with them. My uncle even took Erik and the girls fishing and who knew that Rebecca was such an accomplished sea captain! Yes, that's right...Becca drove the boat.
We managed to go out “elking” when we were in north country and it was an exciting thing for all of us to see a family of elk feeding by the edge of the woods. Just before sunset is the most likely time that you’ll spot the elk. Like deer, they love the cool of the day. An impressive animal, elk are wary of people and we watched as the huge male kept an eye on us from a distance. He watched as the group fed and when he sensed that we’d been there too long, he alerted the others and in a flash, they were gone. The big male returned and stared at us as if to let us know that he was in charge.
In town there is an antique shop that we’ve visited before. During our last trip, Erik spotted an old mission style desk. The price held us back from getting it then. This time however, the price was reduced by half!! Never being ones to pass up a good bargain, the desk was promptly paid for and picked up (and strapped to the roof of the car) the next day. My Aunt immediately dubbed us “The Clampetts”.
Living in the ‘burbs as we do, it’s easy to forget about the star show each night. When we’re away from the lights and the city though, it’s a rare treat to lie outside on a deck and watch the stars in the night sky. More than once Erik slipped down to the dock and watched the moon dance across the lake in the stillness. Sometimes Benny watched by the door as he went.
Time goes by all too quickly when you’re on vacation.
Before we know it, we’re packing the car and getting ready to leave. As with all vacations, there is a hitch. This hitch is in the form of a flat tire. Sigh. The spare is put on and we’re off to get the tire repaired. Life it seems is never without the hitch. I suppose it’s all in what you do with it. Following a short stay at the garage and one that thankfully doesn’t break the budget we’re on our way once more.
Because we wanted to break the trip up a little, we would return to my Aunt and Uncle’s before heading back to New York state. This would also give us time for one more visit with my Mom before we left too.
About seven years ago, I met a friend online who as chance would have it was born in the same hometown as me. We found that we knew some of the same places and my family knew some of her family. She and I became good friends and although we’d never met, Dianne and I got to know one another through letters and emails. “One of these days,” we would say. Well, this past August was high time for a meeting!! On our drive home, we picked a spot where we could meet along the way. It’s an interesting thing to finally meet face to face with someone that you’ve been corresponding with for a number of years. We were able to pick up a conversation as if we’d always known one another. Erik and the girls enjoyed the visit as much as I did and it was so fun to take photos and sit and laugh together. You’re a dear friend Dianne and I’m happy to know you.
On our way home we take a short break to show the girls Niagara Falls for the first time. We looked across the river into the US and that intrigued Rebecca. Later she would show us a building that she had seen from the other side. Cassandra was convinced that the spray in the air from the falls was rain. It had to be.
I can’t help but remember how I loved going to the falls when I was little. Mom would worry that I was going to fall over the edge despite Papa’s firm grip on my hand. I think worrying about everything is something that Mom’s do – like an unwritten law.
Feeling the spray on my face and knowing that the girls were feeling it for the first time was, and is, sweet.
Home again and back to the routine of the everyday, we file the memories and the photos away. Tomorrow is the daunting task of the laundry.
That’s for tomorrow though.
Love from Butternut Grove,
Shelley
The Simple Pleasures
Luscious apples
Steaming!!
Packing the car to the brim
Packing Lissy’s things for the trip!!
Tim Hortons coffee and donuts
Benny
Becoming “The Clampetts”
Giggles from the backseat
Finding a bargain at the antique shop
Meeting an old friend for the first time
Going home
Coming home
Family
